You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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