Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
