The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
