Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
