I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
