i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
