You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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