Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
