from now on my penis is your penis
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i came on her dog
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
