No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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