No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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