oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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