proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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