Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
