This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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