So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize