Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
