I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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