i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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