East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
