Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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