Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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