Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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