you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
