i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
