U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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