so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
