Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
