Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Randomize
