hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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