Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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