Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
