yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
