We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
