So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
