So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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