I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
