This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Drunk is a universal language darling
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
