you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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