worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
