Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
