No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
