So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i can't believe i had my finger in that
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
