Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
