We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
