Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Me too!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
