you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
