This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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