imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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