What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
