The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
