yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
