garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
