Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we're making bets on your personal life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
