Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
