____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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