I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
