I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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