you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
