In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
