its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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